Funny Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.