Funny Quotes

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Every man has a sane spot somewhere.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.