Funny Quotes

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

Be obscure clearly.

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.