Funny Quotes

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.