Funny Quotes

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

I read part of it all the way through.

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.