Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.