Funny Quotes

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity.

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them?

I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them.