Funny Quotes

I'm for whatever gets you through the night.

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

As for our majority... one is enough.

After all is said and done, sit down.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.