Funny Quotes

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?

Macho does not prove mucho.