He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

I own and operate a ferocious ego.

One picture is worth 1,000 denials.

I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.

Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.

I have an unfortunate personality.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.