The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.

There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.