Funny Quotes

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

To be or not to be. That's not really a question.

All men are equal before fish.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.