Funny Quotes

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.