Funny Quotes

A word to the wise is infuriating.

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved.

Who included me among the ranks of the human race?

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

I like marriage. The idea.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.