I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.