Funny Quotes

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you're just unable to focus.