Funny Quotes

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

Seeing the funny side of life is useful, and I've always had a sense of humour.

I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them.

Our family's special holiday tradition is going over to my grandparent's house on Christmas morning. My grandma cooks a big breakfast, and I love hearing her tell old funny stories.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.

I loved being in the film called 'Carnal Knowledge' - the one with Jack Nicholson, which was very dark but a really brilliant movie. I loved being in 'The Ritz.' 'The Ritz' I think is just hilarious. I just saw it again recently and by God, it's still funny!

Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.'

Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart.

And as - funny enough, it actually became - so I've always wanted to be a Guinness world record holder. And believe it or not, before I made this there was not a category for world's largest Nerf gun, but there is now.