Funny Quotes

Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.

The biggest problem of all is that it's very difficult to tell my daughter, 'Swearing is not clever or funny,' because I earn a living by swearing.

I was in love with Michael Keaton. He was very funny.

Mr. Idris Elba is amazing! He happens to be British, but what's funny about him is that when he's speaking in his American dialect, he looks like he's a brother from the 'hood. But as soon as he brings out that English thing, I'm like, 'Woo! You look like you're from London. Oh my God!' It's like everything on him changes. He's so cool!

In Nova Scotia, there are some definite down-home accents, and it's funny because you can go to Sydney, and one guy is from North Sydney, and you can't understand a thing he's saying, or Glace Bay or wherever.

I personally do not find puke funny. I find it disgusting.

I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.

It's funny that some of the people who complain the most about intelligence being politicized are the ones politicizing the intelligence.

Jonathan Lynn is one of the last actors Orsen Welles used in a production. It was wonderful. He's very sharp, very sharp. It's funny I've been asked how weird it was to have a Brit do a church gospel movie.

You want to have the perfect balance of hot and funny on your Instagram, but you never want too much of either... Don't try to add humility to your blatant 'hot' posts through a half-hearted attempt at being funny. You look good; just own it.