Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.