Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.