Milton Berle

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.